After some consideration, I realized that I belong in Reform Judaism.   I am happy where I am at. I also have to have some respect for my relationships and my self.   I am where I belong.    I still want to work on having a practice of Davening, I want to continue to study Torah, Talmud, and Mishnah etc.  I just want to remain true to myself as a Reform Jew.   I do still want to continue reading from Renewal authors...I still find inspiration from them as well.    I know I can't be Orthodox and be true to myself unfortunately.  

My Place in the Jewish World!

I guess for my first blog post I would like to talk about some of the things that go on in my head.   Where do I fit in the Jewish world.  Some of my political views and social views among other things seems to place me ideally in the Reform Movement.  Yet for some reason I have been constantly wondering if I should explore being more observant?   I don't know if this is a normal convert activity or not.   I sometime think I want to be more than a "movement" ...I am a JEW full stop.  There is so much to the Jewish world that I can read, study, experience...why limit myself to one strain of things.  


I have been having this intense curiosity about Chabad lately.   I don't know what has prompted this.   So far there has been quite a few things that have sparked my interest.   I don't know if I should explore this curiosity or not.   I don't want to have a superficial experience of Judaism...but is that something that I can prevent regardless of movement?     I know there are things that are a challenge in the Orthodox world for me...but sometimes I wonder if there is more I can do as a Jew than I am currently?    What if I want to wear tallit katan and a kippot?   What about keeping kosher and praying three times a day.    What if I want to wear Tefilin?    Would I be an oddball in Reform?  At the same time..will I be accepted in Chabad either?  Is doing both an option?   I  don't know...not even sure where my path is taking me.   I want to experience life as a Jew to its fullness.  I am sure I can do that in any movment or flavor of Judaism.     I just don't see other Reform jews being frum for example.     Maybe this is just a phase...I really couldn't say. 

I decided to try sharing some of the thoughts I have after becoming a Jew this past year.  I also want to share any thoughts as I study Torah and I continue to grow as a Jew.   I hope to share my struggles and my joys.